This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
