I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
