It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
