I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
