somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
