No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
