They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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