I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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