I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
