Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
