my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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