wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
