Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
