when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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