sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
