i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
