can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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