you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
