sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
