im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
