I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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