We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
