Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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