addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
