just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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