i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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