Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
