It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
