look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
