Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
