Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
