Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This house was built for laser tag.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
