Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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