My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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