My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
