omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
