Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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