I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Fuck appropriateness.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
