no, he came in my armpit
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i think my cat just said my name.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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