i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
