YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
