i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think i have two assholes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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