just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
