is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
