He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
