she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
