There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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