Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
