I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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