I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
