fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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