If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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